How To Deal With Overthinking About Your Crush


| LAST UPDATE 03/16/2023

By Alyssa Williams
relationship dating anxiety tips
Ron Lach via Pexels

Whether it's a dating scenario or a conversation you're stuck on, sometimes it's hard to find the right words to move on and focus your energy somewhere else. Overthinking can cause us to become paralyzed and even cause us to take a step backward instead of forward.

When dealing with this kind of situation in dating, several people often begin to come up with worries such as: Will they call me back? Do they like me? What if I said too much or too little? In order to help combat such worries and feelings of overthinking, experts like to use Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) techniques. It works by raising awareness and giving individuals the necessary tools to stop worrying and overthinking. One tip experts like to share is something many people don't consider – ask yourself how important this issue will be five or ten years from now. The chances are that someone really won't care whether you brought a fruit platter to a potluck instead of baking a pie from scratch! Small issues should not become huge hardships in our lives.

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Another helpful tip for those who struggle with this is referred to as the 90-10 formula – this refers to calculating your self-worth based on ninety percent of self-acceptance and appreciation, combined with the remaining ten percent coming from external validation. For overthinkers, it's easy for these numbers to get reversed – so rather than focusing more on external sources for approval (i.e. what other people think), focus on boosting your own opinion of yourself first and foremost!

In addition, try to replace "what if" questions with "we'll see" statements – this helps break up analysis paralysis while also teaching us to accept that certain things are out of our control, and that we just have to accept that as a fact. Instead of ruminating over negatives, look at the bigger picture through positive reflection– think about the successes you've had in life thus far! And please remember - we are all worthy of peace of mind, true happiness, and love - no matter how small our successes may seem!

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