Former High School Sweethearts Reunite To Form a Polyamorous Trio
| LAST UPDATE 09/05/2021
Devin never really dreamed out about reuniting with a high school sweetheart. What's more, he never expected it to happen with one, let alone two of them... at the same time! Here's Devin’s unconventional journey and how he formed a polyamorous relationship with two of his exes.
It all starts with Devin, the first part of this intriguing tale. At the beginning of this story, Devin was living a perfectly normal life in Cincinnati, the city he grew up in. But what about his love life?
That’s where Hayley and Ciara come in. These are the two women that Devin has called the “loves of his life.” But the start of their polyamorous relationship began years earlier when Devin and Hayley were in high school together. Back then, none of them could have known how things were going to turn out.
"Me and Devin were together back in high school," Hayley shared. The two had met as teenagers, and they had immediate chemistry. They fell into a high school relationship quickly. But like many relationships at that age, they had their fair share of issues.
Sadly it wasn’t long before Devin and Hayley broke up and moved on to new relationships. And in Devin’s case, he was quickly attracted to another girl in Cincinnati - Ciara. He decided to take the plunge, hoping things would be a little smoother with his new partner.
And so began Devin's second relationship with the self-assured Ciara. At first, everything was fantastic. The young couple couldn't be happier. Maybe Devin had found the one? But those thoughts were put aside when problems soon began to arise. What happened?
According to Ciara, their short-lived relationship ended due to "high school drama [and] high school shenanigans," which was more common than not for people their age. It wasn't a big deal, and they both chose to move forward separately. But Devin found himself looking back at the past…. And back to Hayley.
Why Not Try Again?
Though things hadn't worked out the first time round, the two former sweethearts were drawn to each other. They both wanted to try again. "We got together so young," Hayley said of their first relationship attempt. "[There was a] lot of breaking up here," Devin chimed in.
For Hayley and Devin, it wasn't hard to fall back into a relationship. Their first breakup hadn't been a messy one, so neither felt any pent-up resentment. "It was never anything bad like it was just because we were all so young, you know," Hayley said. For now, their relationship was smooth sailing.
A Surprise Reunion
Soon enough, Devin and Haley had graduated high school, and the young couple transitioned into adulthood together. But it wasn't long before the unexpected happened: a person from their past reentered their lives. "Me and Ciara kind of connected through a mutual friend," Hayley admitted.
That's right, Devin's ex-girlfriend had wandered back into his life. "We ended up being friends," Hayley continued. She and Ciara began spending time together regularly. And it wasn't long before she was spending time with both Hayley and Devin. And the three of them got along... perfectly.
Old Chemistry Was Brewing
But what did that mean for Devin and Ciara? It wasn’t that long ago that the two had been in a relationship of their own. The sparks had been there once, and maybe they still were. What was going to happen now that Devin’s old flame had been introduced back into his life?
And as the two soon realized that there was definitely still chemistry between them. It didn’t affect Devin’s love and attraction for his girlfriend, but it was hard to deny the attraction to Ciara. And what started off as friendly hangouts between the three, soon turned into something else entirely.
More Than Friends?
It wasn't long before the boundaries between friends and lovers began to blur. "We didn't really expect it at all," Hayley confessed. Nonetheless, soon enough, the three began to explore a three-way relationship. But of course, it wasn't that simple.
The three were still young, and none of them had ever had any experience with polyamory. How does one fit a third person into a relationship? As you might expect, it wasn’t easy. And Devin, Hayley, and Ciara soon found themselves in one of the most challenging chapters of their lives.
Figuring Things Out
Though they all had relationship experience, dating two people at the same time was an entirely new ball game. Every aspect of dating that they were familiar with suddenly seemed strange and new. And at times, this new experience was a struggle for them.
It was an uncomfortable scenario at first. The truth was that because of their age, none of the three really felt equipped to deal with what was going on. They didn’t have the mental and emotional growth to confront such difficult situations - and there were plenty of them.
So what was the main problem they were facing? "One of our main issues was jealousy," Ciara said. This seemed inevitable, as neither woman had ever had to share a partner before. Dating Devin on their own had been easy enough. But how could they do it together?
It was near impossible for Hayley and Ciara to not feel some kind of resentment when it came to Devin. The jealousy began to spread through many aspects of their relationship. Who got the most attention? Who got to spend the most time with him? At times, it was overwhelming.
The Elephant in the Room
They simply didn't know how to deal with their feelings, and it was only natural that Hayley and Ciara began to take out their jealousy on each other. "[The jealousy] kind of played a part with me and Hayley," Ciara admitted. Was Devin facing the same problems?
Surprisingly, he was. Though he certainly wasn’t dealing with the same inner turmoil as his two girlfriends, there was a level of envy that he felt when it came to spending time together. “A little bit,” as he confessed. But of course, it didn’t compare to the confusion the two girls felt, and the adjustments they had to make.
A First Time for Everything
Not all of the friction between the girls was from jealousy - it was also inexperience. "We [had] never been like with a girl," Hayley insisted. "It was just like a little bit different trying to like figure things out." And if that wasn't enough, they also had to tell their families what was going on.
The idea that they had to share such a strange and potentially frowned-upon relationship with their parents and wider family was very stressful for them. According to Ciara, "It was an emotional and difficult process just because everyone's family is gonna take it differently."
Can They Overcome Their Problems?
"I think the [issues] also had a big part of us all being together starting out kind of younger," Hayley added. Again, they had only recently left high school and were still dealing with the pressures of adulthood - let alone a polyamorous relationship. The immaturity often caused fights and turned small problems into big ones.
Let’s not forget that Devin had already started and ended relationships with the two girls in the past. Breaking up was a very real possibility, despite the genuine connections that had formed between all three of them. Yes, they were young. But if they wanted to save their relationship, they had to work through their issues.
Giving It Their All
They knew they had to figure something out before they ended things for good. So they set out trying different approaches, hoping that something would stick. First, they tried to break things down into two-person relationships, thinking it might temper some of the jealousy and confusion. But this didn’t work.
So instead, they took the opposite approach. Not only did they make it a fully equal three-way relationship, but they decided to put everything they had into making it work. They didn’t know if it was going to pay off, but they knew they had to give it everything before it was too late.
And what better way to face a relationship head-on than to move in together? That’s exactly what the trio did. They knew that absence could make problems worse, but spending every day together meant they had to face their issues together too. They also decided to join forces in other ways...
They were going to share their finances too. "The last thing you want to do is, you know, [count] dollars while you're trying to focus on building a relationship… and trying to create this awesome relationship out of love," Devin said. "You don't want to worry about who spent what or who did this for who."
Their Strong Foundation
According to Hayley, the foundations of their relationship were stronger than most. "I think that it was a lot easier for us to jump into it because, like I said, we were together, and then we were together." Despite their issues, it made moving in together and building a relationship easier.
It was a reminder of the chemistry that the three of them had had from the very beginning. Their complicated history didn’t add to the drama and conflict, it helped to defuse it. Whenever envy began to flare up, they remembered the reason they were together in the first place.
Trust Came Easily
For Devin, his past with the two women also made trust much easier, which is one of the most important aspects of a relationship. "I did know them already, and I already had trust with them, so I guess that definitely made like jumping into like moving in and finances and things like a lot easier," he explained.
And Hayley agreed with that whole-heartedly. "He had like a trust that he already knew her," she said. "Then [Ciara and I] became friends first, and that's how that like, kind of started. I had that trust there as well." But would this translate to living together full-time?
Together Every Day
Once they had moved in together and combined their finances, the trust began to deepen. And with that deeper trust, it was easier to communicate too. And soon enough, the jealousy and bickering had come to a halt. Even working from home together, it was suddenly a breeze.
Despite living through a pandemic, Devin, Haley, and Ciara all felt a sense of comfort knowing they had each other. "Personally, I love being at home because it just opens up so much more time to spend together, so that's just an added benefit," Ciara said.
Speaking of the pandemic, in the course of a few months, Covid-19 had changed their lives completely. Before it hit, Devin had been working for a finance company, while his girlfriends both worked at restaurants. But soon they found themselves looking for new jobs.
It was a stressful time, with three unemployed people now in the house and no paycheck to rely on. But thankfully, all three of them soon found remote work from the same call center. The trio could now relax and enjoy life as normal. But not for long...
Three Parents, One Baby
As if their new jobs weren't enough, Haley soon realized she was pregnant! That's right, a fourth member of the family was on the way. After the initial shock, the trio took to Instagram to share the amazing news, informing their followers of a "new addition coming December 2020."
But there was no shock or controversy within the comment sections. Their followers were a supportive bunch. And the trio was quickly flooded with comments supporting and congratulating their little family. Sure enough, on December 29th, 2020, the trio welcomed Xylaya into the world.
All Eyes on Her
After the stress of being laid off and having to search for new jobs, the three new parents found great comfort in their little bundle of joy. And with their new jobs, they were able to arrange their work schedules, so the new baby had a constant flow of attention.
"We've been able to give, you know, undivided 24/7 attention to Xylaya," a beaming Devin shared. "That has been just like, wonderful. Xylaya's not added any extra stress to our lives even though, you know, she's a baby." It was an enormously happy time for the trio.
Gratitude in the Face of Hardship
Despite all the stress and struggle that the pandemic brought to their family, there were some clear benefits too. "Through this whole Covid situation and being at home, I think it definitely, like, strengthened our relationship and our bonds," Devin said. "Not only within ourselves but then also all together."
"I think it really allowed us to all reflect on, like, what we really need out of life and what we like, want out of life," he added. "Just because, you know, we've had so much time to like, sit at home and think." And those thoughts also led to some clearer perspectives on their home life.
What Polyamory Looks Like
After the issues they faced in the early days of the relationship, they understood far more about what it meant to be polyamorous. "[A polyamorous family is] going to look different for everybody," Hayley said. "But the main definition there would be 'poly' could be more than your regular two people in a monogamous relationship."
Those two years together had very much cemented their relationship, and they knew what they wanted. There was no need to experiment further or add another person to the mix - it was Devin, Hayley, and Ciara all the way. "We share everything together, so there is no like, outside anything with the relationship," Ciara confirmed.
How Do They Identify?
When we look back at all the twists and turns of their relationship, we can’t help but wonder how they all identify. The three young adults are so open about everything - but what about their sexual orientations? Well, Devin made it clear that he’s straight. But with Ciara and Hayley, it’s a little more complicated.
"I don't know that if we weren't together that I would ever be with another woman… But never say never," Hayley said. And Ciara? "I would identify as straight as well. [If] I were to be in another relationship, I would more than likely go for a man. But obviously, we've fallen in love with each other."
As far as Devin is concerned, the key to finding the right kind of love is by accepting yourself and pursuing what you want. "You definitely need to find what makes you happy as an individual and really do everything that you can in your power to live a life like that," he said.
And he's firm in his belief that people should explore themselves rather than accepting monogamy as the only way to live and love. "Don't try to fit inside of someone else's opinion or someone else's ideas," he continued. "It is a way to live, but it's not necessarily the best way to live."
Blocking out the Haters
Devin, Hayley, and Ciara have truly felt fulfilled by their unconventional relationship - even if other people in their life disagreed with it. In Devin’s case, some friends had even turned their back on him because they disapproved. But he chose not to let it get to him.
After all, they felt that they were making the right decisions for the three of them. It wasn't anyone else's business. And when it came to it, they simply didn't have any time for negativity. Why you ask? Well, as it turns out, there was another little surprise on the way.
A Baby Boy
That’s right, Ciara also fell pregnant not long after the birth of Xylaya! Their family of 4 was about to get bigger, and the trio was overjoyed. The expecting mother had already decided on a name when they made their announcement on Instagram: Xen Joseph Hale.
"We're overjoyed to welcome our baby boy Xen Joseph Hale," their caption read. "We love you so much already and cannot wait for your arrival." He is expected to arrive on September 27th, 2021, just 9 months after his sister. And Ciara couldn't be happier.
The Joys of Pregnancy
Sure, having a baby at 21 had never been the plan, and she dealt with the same aches, pains, and other struggles of pregnancy. But Ciara was overjoyed at the prospect of meeting her son. "I never expected to be bringing in 21 pregnant, but I'm more than happy and ready to be your mommy," she shared on the 'gram.
Her uplifting caption was shared alongside several maternity photos. "I will teach you to be the man the world needs, not what it is represented by. Your sister will always have a protector in you, and you'll always have a friend in her... Until we meet my love."
Still Smiling Despite It All
But we don’t want to make it seem like everything was a breeze for the three young parents. Devin, Hayley, and Ciara still had their share of struggles as they adjusted to parenthood and the realities of a post-Covid world. But there was a lot of good to be found amongst the hardships.
They had a beautiful daughter to enjoy, and their relationship was only growing stronger every day. Despite spending a lot of time inside, they also managed to make sure that each parent got some time with Xylaya - and they even managed to arrange special dates with each other.
A Bright Future
Not to mention, they were leveling up in the professional sense as well. Despite juggling full-time work, motherhood, and two partners, Hayley was studying too! Soon enough, she had earned her Bachelor’s Degree from the University of Cincinnati. And Devin and Ciara couldn’t wait to celebrate.
They took to Instagram to revel in Hayley's accomplishments, writing, "Our baby did it! We are more than proud of her. You're looking at a STRONG woman… finished out with the arrival of our bundle of joy, Xylaya. It's only up from here." And it's clear that their future is bright. But what's next for this polyamorous family?
After the birth of their second child, Devin, Hayley, and Ciara will likely be better than ever. The dedicated parents have worked hard to establish a strong and trusting bond together, and to set up a stable life for Xen and Xylaya. They’re going to keep moving forward.
Devin is currently working on "building his photography business," and both women are pursuing their academic dreams. Hayley is starting her Master's degree, and Ciara is completing her Psychology undergrad. We couldn't be more impressed! If you want to see more from these three, check them out on Instagram at @thepolypov.